We were thrilled to host author and psychologist Michael Thompson, Ph.D., on campus yesterday! A leading expert on boys’ emotional development and co-author of "Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys," Thompson shared his insights and experiences with our students, faculty, staff, and parents in a series of talks and smaller group meetings.

Thompson spoke with some Upper School students in Memorial Library and later met with faculty and staff to discuss boys’ school experiences. He shared stories from his time as a seventh-grade public school teacher and school counselor, and explained how, over the years, classroom dynamics and disciplinary policies have failed to meet boys where they are. Boys and girls are different, said Thompson, and he supports different learning approaches in academic settings. “Boys need to feel useful,” said Thompson. “They really respond to meaningful work, and school doesn’t always feel relevant and meaningful.”

Thompson points out that boys now have less free play or unstructured time, and parents are more involved than ever in setting the agenda for their children’s daily lives. “Boys are living more regulated lives,” said Thompson in an interview. “I see so many wonderful, wonderful boys, but they’re not terribly independent. They’re not experiencing that same kind of spontaneous leadership training with each other, to see who’s good at what,” he said.

Girls are thriving in certain aspects of the co-ed academic experience, Thompson explained, while many boys have withdrawn. “Over the past 35 years, boys in co-ed settings in public schools have turned over all the extracurriculars. Girls are now two-thirds of valedictorians, student body presidents, honor society presidents,” Thompson said. Pointing to various school mentorship programs and creative ways to engage boys through community service, he reinforced the idea that boys need to feel their work makes a difference.

In the evening, Thompson spoke to a parent audience in Ryan Recital Hall to discuss the emotional, social and academic needs of boys and how to best support them. In a wide-ranging talk, the author touched on boys’ academic performance, disproportionate disciplinary consequences, and providing avenues for boys to distinguish themselves. For Thompson, much of his experience supporting boys involves providing them with a sense of purpose and belonging. “Give boys the opportunity to contribute to their school, or their family, or the community. They will be enormously grateful,” said Thompson.

Thompson encourages parents to accept boys for who they are and to understand how they learn, play, and find their identities. “It’s important that when people look at a boy, they think he’s going to turn out all right,” Thompson said in an interview. “We don’t have to tweak them constantly and supervise him to the nth degree. What he has inside him is reliable.”