StC News

Middle School Chapel Talk

October 8, 2021
Good morning.

I want to begin with an observation—It has been an outstanding beginning to the 2021-2022 school year at St. Christopher’s. Walking around this campus, being among you, our students and our faculty, attending events with alumni, parents, and friends, there is such a positive and grateful vibe on our campus right now. It is electric and contagious. 

I have this theory that, after all we have been through, as a community, a nation, and a world, simple things, such as sporting events, hanging out with friends, concerts, and in-person classes, are no longer taken for granted. There is an appreciation for every aspect of school life here at St. Christopher’s that seems to be marked and celebrated in ways that are new and beautiful to behold. 

Further, the sense of school spirit this fall has been palpable. I give credit to our seniors, the Class of 2022, but you, our Middle School students, deserve credit, too. I have seen you at events, supporting each other, including students older and younger than you. Keep that up, continue the positivity, encouragement, and school spirit—this has the potential to be one of the greatest school years in St. Christopher’s history. I truly believe that.

I want to thank Reverend Sweeney and Dr. Hunter for asking me to speak to you all this morning. It’s a great blessing and privilege. As I think you all probably know, I am lucky to have two sons in the Middle School right now—Patrick and Carter. It’s the only year in which they will be in this special Middle School together. I’m pretty sure it’s every Middle School boy’s dream to have their father speak at Chapel, right?

Mindful of that reality, I gave them the chance to help me with today’s Chapel talk. I asked both of them for advice on what I should say to you all today.

Here’s what they said—

One offered, “I don’t know, Dad. Isn’t that your job to figure out?”

Another said, “Please, just don’t make it boring.”

So, yes, it is my job to figure out, and I will do my best not to be boring this morning. 

Here’s what I am going to be this morning—straight, and to the point.

As I thought about what I wanted to share with you this morning, I found myself thinking back to my own Middle School days, a little over 30 years ago and about five miles from here.

The first thing I would want you all to know about my Middle School years is that they were pretty ordinary. What I mean by that is that I was a pretty typical Middle School boy. I was a good student, but I wasn’t extraordinary. I was a pretty good athlete, but definitely not extraordinary—Mr. Chewning can vouch for that. And I’d like to think I was a good friend and a good person, but looking back, I know I could have been a lot better.

And that’s really what I want to impart to you all this morning—what I can see now, so clearly, with 30 years of hindsight and clarity. What I know now so well that I wish I knew when I was your age. Here it goes. I’ll distill it into just three lessons.

Lesson 1
The things that seem super important right now—like being funny, being popular, being athletic, being talented—are not nearly as important for the rest of your life. Once you become an adult, like about 18 or 20, a funny thing happens. Other things are way, way more important—I’m talking about things like being honest, being a hard worker, doing exactly what you say you are going to do when you say you are going to do it, and probably more than anything else, being kind. Being kind is probably the best thing you can do at any age—now, or when you are much older like me and some of your teachers. Just be kind. You will be happier for it, and the world will be a better place because of you. 

Lesson 2
Middle School—exactly where you are right now—is a great time to take some chances, to be really good at some things, OK at other things, and terrible at other things. Actually, learning what you are terrible at, or perhaps what you really don’t enjoy, is an awesome life lesson. You are going to have so many choices and options in life—where to go to college, where to live after college, with whom to be friends, who to marry, what kind of job to get, whether or not to go to graduate school—that a really helpful part of decision making is trying to figure out what you don’t want to do and also what you are not very good at. It’s OK to not be great at some things.  You can’t do it all, and that’s OK. 

Relatedly, please understand that who you are and what you achieve in middle school or high school or even college, for that matter, is not a pure predictor of who you will be for the rest of your life. You are just getting started. You are forming habits and shaping your character, not pre-determining the rest of your life. I know lots of people who were only marginally successful in Middle and High School but extremely successful and very happy later in life. The opposite can be true, too. Don’t worry too much now about creating a perfect path for your adult life. You’ve got your adult life to worry about that.

Instead, you should try new things and take smart risks in Middle School—Here are a few examples. Try writing for The Paper Boy—it’s a really cool publication—take part in a Saturday Service Project, try a new sport, get involved in Outre at least once in the Middle School, either as an actor or part of the tech crew. Try to create a friendship with someone who is totally different from you—lives in a different part of the city, likes things that are different from your likes.

We are so lucky to be part of a school and community with so many resources and options and variety—don’t stay in a rut and in the safe lane of things you’ve always done. Get a little uncomfortable. It’s really good for you and prepares you for the rest of your life. 

Lesson 3
Related to my last lesson on trying new things, listen carefully to the words of our country’s 26th president, Theodore Roosevelt, when, in 1910, he said, “It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

Now, this is some pretty dramatic early 20th Century American writing, but what Teddy Roosevelt is saying here—and I agree completely—is, be a doer. Be a try-hard. Be someone who takes a chance, get involved, be a leader, take a swing. If you miss, so what? It’s so much better to go through life knowing you’ve swung and missed than being too timid to swing at all. Trust me from personal experience—you won’t regret the times you swing and miss, just the times you were afraid to swing at all. 

I’ll leave you with this, guys—I have failed so many times in my life. I make mistakes every day. I’m pretty good at my job, but I’m not perfect, and I know that’s OK.

Michael Jordan, the greatest basketball player of all time—and I love LeBron, too, but I’m an MJ guy, once said, “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. Twenty-six times I’ve been trusted to take the game-winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
God bless you guys. Let’s make this a great year together. Work hard, be kind, and take chances.

Thank you. 
 
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