StC News

From the Head of School

Thoughts on the #MeToo movement, the recent Kavanaugh hearings, and what role we, as a school for boys, should play in discussing and engaging in these topics as a community.
Just outside my new office in the Luck Leadership Center, our “Loud Library” hums with student activity throughout the day. Dozens of boys gather there at all times, studying, conversing, resting, playing chess, and, on occasion, playing video games until I encourage them to get back to work.
 
Just above the fireplace in the Loud Library, we have a television monitor that features the BBC News Channel, on mute, throughout the school day. We do that so our boys have exposure, literally, to global events in real time. It is often a great conversation-starter for me and other faculty, as we can observe the boys watching global news developments and then ask them what they think about what they are learning.
 
Earlier this month, for several hours on several school days, the BBC Channel followed coverage of the Senate hearings for Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. On multiple occasions I asked our boys what they thought of the hearings and the allegations made against Judge Kavanaugh.
 
By far the most common response was that they were not paying attention to the issue. Most boys seemed to express a disdain for anything that smelled of Washington politics, and many had dismissed the hearings as overtly partisan.
 
Fair enough. In thinking back to our own lives as teenagers, how many of us were attentive to Senate hearings, even ones with such meaningful context and far-reaching implications?
 
In the midst of the hearings and prior to Judge Kavanaugh’s formal confirmation, I had the pleasure of attending a student debate on his nomination, with civil and persuasive arguments put forth by students of both St. Christopher’s and St. Catherine’s.
 
During the debate, sponsored by our schools’ joint Political Awareness Club, our students conducted themselves in an exemplary manner, worthy of emulation by professional politicians. The discussion, perhaps not surprisingly, focused on the credibility of testimonies from Dr. Christine Blasey Ford and Judge Brett Kavanaugh.
 
What was largely missing from that discussion, and what has felt absent from my own discussions with students over the past several weeks, was honest discourse around the truly significant and underlying issue of both the Kavanaugh hearings and literally hundreds of news stories over the past 12 months—sexual harassment and assault of women and a healthy definition of sexual consent among males and females.
 
These are exceedingly difficult and sensitive topics, so it is no surprise that we, and our boys, often avoid them and instead default to more “safe” or binary topics, such as politics, the role of alcohol in sexual assault, predatory behavior, or even “boys-school culture.”
 
That last topic, a focus on boys schools, has been on my mind a great deal since the dawn of the #MeToo movement.
 
I, and many others here at St. Christopher’s and at hundreds of boys’ schools around the world, have been asking the fundamental question, “What responsibility do we, as a school focused on the education and formation of young men, have in ensuring that our boys are exemplars of respectful and proper conduct toward women, and how can we play a role in ending the shameful conduct that has been publicly scrutinized over the past many months?”
 
Importantly, how do we do this in a manner that avoids shaming young men for something over which they have no control, their gender, and also inspires boys to lead in a positive manner, as allies and upstanders with women, and not out of fear of engaging in deviant or illegal behavior? In other words, how do we talk with our boys about these important and sensitive topics, not at them, and how do we do this in a manner that demonstrates our love and respect for them, for all boys, and our belief that they can and will act in accord with their better angels?
 
I see the better angels of our boys every day, with each other, with both male and female faculty members, and in their healthy and mutually respectful relationships with students at St. Catherine’s. This does not mean we do not have work to do, and that we should not continuously model and discuss appropriate and respectful behavior with women. We must do this as it relates to high-impact behavior such as physical conduct with women, but also as it relates to seemingly lower-impact behavior such as word choice, respect, and overall consideration of women.
 
I am proud of the way we presently approach this topic, be it from a curricular standpoint through instruction on healthy relationships in both Middle and Upper School health courses; through our Lower School character and leadership curriculum, with a particular focus on respect and kindness; or through speakers and special programs in all divisions, including a targeted program for seniors on appropriate and healthy relationships in partnership with the One Love Foundation.
 
Our fully coordinate educational program with St. Catherine’s, culminating in co-educational classes at both schools, particularly in the junior and senior years, allows boys and girls to engage with one another in intellectual environments and to regard each other as intellectual peers, resulting in respectful—even if divergent—discussion in both academic and extra-curricular settings such as the Political Awareness Club.
 
Later this month, our Upper School will welcome representatives, including a recent St. Christopher’s alumnus, from the organization One in Four, an all-male sexual assault peer education group at the University of Virginia, focusing on the topics of consent, bystander intervention, and survivor support.
 
As a community of both educators and parents, I believe we must take this opportunity, whether prompted by the #MeToo movement, the Kavanaugh hearings, or, frankly, any other impetus, to engage in respectful and candid discussions with our boys about what it means to be a man, a gentle man, in 2018. If we do not, who will?
 
Importantly, I believe that we can and should do this in a manner that is received by our boys as non-partisan, non-condemning, and not overly reactionary. Of course, we will do this in a manner appropriate for boys of different age levels and points of readiness for these kinds of conversations.
 
It is an honor to lead a community of and for young men willing and ready to stand at a point of leadership on this important topic. Once again, I ask, if we, St. Christopher’s educators and parents, do not, then who will?
Back